When I used to live in the USA, I always appreciated the reminder at Thanksgiving of the potential to be thankful in any moment, in any situation. In my home country of Canada, Thanksgiving was not as big a holiday. It also more clearly related to the abundance apparent at the time of harvest. Unfortunately, American Thanksgiving, which I saw as the one still relatively spiritual holiday unmolested by modern commercialism, has since become an opportunity for a major shopping spree. Black Friday, the opposite of being thankful, has become popular even in the UK where I now live, where there is no Thanksgiving holiday. As if that discounted shopping event weren’t enough, now we have cyber Monday, which has quickly become cyber week! Even without eating a huge turkey dinner, I find myself feeling a bit nauseous.
In the midst of these cultural efforts to demean and take advantage of potentially beautiful, meaningful holidays, how can we remember to be thankful?
To me, this important question relates to my basic practice of mindful presence. Shopping tends to take me away from that. Cyber shopping can potentially accelerate the nervous system to the point where mindfulness becomes exceedingly challenging. But not impossible.
Shopping is a necessary event for most of us who don’t grow our own food, make our own clothes and build our own homes from home-grown or collected materials. Black Friday is about extreme shopping. It has less to do with meeting basic needs than with creating and addressing unmet needs of self.
Unmet Early Needs
I am reminded here of the wisdom of Dr. Gabor Maté, who sees addiction as an expression and result of early unmet needs. He doesn’t hesitate to include his own addiction to shopping for classical music CDs.
I recognise my own addiction to shopping for clothes. I definitely don’t need more clothes! I also love the experience of viewing new fashions and seeing how I feel and look wearing them. I have seen that at times this has an addictive pressured energy to it. At other times, I just need or want an item of clothing. What has fascinated me in the last few years as I have focused more on writing is that, when I am taking time in my life to write, I have absolutely no urge to buy clothing! Instead, I feel grateful for the chance to play with words, an activity I passionately love. I love writing in a very different way to how I love buying clothes! The feeling in my body is completely different.
Presence, Addiction and Gratitude
Sensing this difference requires mindful presence. If I am sped up by being online, urged by pressure to buy before a sale ends, or meeting deadlines, or just keeping up with the speed of life in the 21st century, I may miss sensations my body is offering as guidance. Perhaps you can relate to that?
Without presence, I also may find it more difficult to experience gratitude. To access thankfulness don’t I need to be aware of what I am thankful for?
One fortunate truth is that it works both ways. Being thankful can also enhance presence.
The research of www.heartmath.org indicates that taking a moment to orient to gratitude or appreciation can quickly shift chaotic heart rhythms to more coherence. This heart coherence affects our entire body, with every system coming into more harmony. Our nervous system naturally settles and we become more aware. Shall we check it out?
Resting in Awareness and Thankfulness
I invite you to take a moment now to let yourself be aware of whatever you are aware of. I encourage you to be honest with yourself. As you have been reading this blog, probably online, what have you been aware of? Do you sense anything other than the words you are reading and the concepts they convey? Perhaps you are aware of some thoughts generated in your own mind. Perhaps you have considered what behaviour of yours might also be addictive. Maybe you have checked out the link for HeartMath or looked up Gabor Maté and had some thoughts about that.
In the midst of reading, how aware have you been of your body? Do you feel your body? Do you feel your breath? Your contact with what you are sitting/standing/lying on? Or with your clothes touching your body? Do you feel your heart beating?
Now, take a moment to consider at least one thing you feel grateful for or appreciate. It can be anything. It may be something about yourself or another person, about where you are just now or where you live or work or study. It may be a place you love to go to or something you enjoy doing. It may even be a word or phrase you just read (J). What do you feel thankful for or appreciate just now?
As you orient to gratitude and appreciation, what happens with your awareness? What are you now aware of? Can you sense your body now? Is that awareness any different than it was a few minute ago? Has your breath changed at all? Your sense of resting into the contact under you? Your heart? What do your sensations tell you in this moment?
I notice as I write this that I have just taken a deep breath. This tells me I have expressed the essence of what I wanted to here. I am moving toward completion of this blog.
There is one more thought I want to offer. You may now agree with me that gratitude and presence can be connected. Can you also sense how this might affect your health?
Trauma, Health and Gratitude
When we have been exposed to challenging conditions in our lives, we often carry the remnants of reactions to trauma or overwhelm in our bodies. Our nervous system may continue to act or react as if the trauma were occurring in present time. We have a hard time being in present time when our system orients to trauma from the past. This has a detrimental effect on our health.
Early unresolved trauma profoundly affects our health and well-being throughout life, as evidenced by the now abundant research into ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and ABEs (Adverse Babyhood Experiences ).
A simple way to begin to address our trauma histories and health issues is to include a regular practice of gratitude and mindful awareness. While this won’t solve everything, it can serve as an essential helpful resource for addressing the past and appreciating the abundant goodness and health available in the present.
Even in such turbulent times as we are all living in, there is always something to be grateful for. What is it for you in this moment?
Note: If you would like some extra support for this holiday time, I invite you to join my upcoming webinar Resourcing with Continuum for the Holidays airing December 18th. If you see this after that date, you can also access the video recording at the same link.
