Remembering Love

When you ask yourself, “Who am I?,” do you acknowledge the love that you are?

As little ones, even before birth, we are carriers of love, emissaries with a mysterious message humans are uniquely designed to communicate. We can be reminded by other mammals, also possessing a social engagement nervous system, and we as humans can bring this quality of love into words.

It isn’t usually easy. Poets struggle but often succeed in expressing this essential aspect of our being. Our hearts, ignited and beating by 22 days after conception, symbolize the potential of our love.

“Your heart is the size of the ocean. Go find yourself in its hidden depths.” – Rumi

As usual, Rumi has wise words for us. We might ask why the depths of the heart, the depths of our love, are hidden.

What happened as we began to discover or express this gift that we found a need to hide it? How do we keep the love in our hearts safe? And what are we protecting it from?

Early Learning

So often, we learn as we are coming into form, that we are not as welcomed or safe in this earthly world as we might have hoped. We can experience rejection around the time the heart begins beating, which often coincides with the time the pregnancy is discovered. Ambivalence or outright rejection by our parents at this time can be shocking for the little embryo, a very sentient being, whose survival is completely dependent on parental acceptance and protection.

How does your body react as you read this? Does your chest tighten? Does your breath gasp? This can be an echo of that early response to how our parents received the news of our existence.

It can be helpful to acknowledge that, no matter how terrifying or even dangerous that time may have been, we have survived. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t be here reading this now, as the capable adult you have become. What happens inside you as you remember your actual, current age and appreciate that you have made it through that time? Perhaps your breath deepens. There may be more sense of space and ease in your chest.

Loving Ourselves

Valentine’s Day is upon us, potentially a day for remembering love. It is beautiful to remember and express love to others you care about. I want to encourage you to include yourself in this process. One way to do this is to imagine/sense/visualize yourself as a little one – a child, a newborn, or even a little one in the womb.

What is your sense of that little you? What do they need? Is there a way you can offer that to them? Perhaps welcoming them, holding them, reassuring them… What happens inside you as you do this? What is your sense of how the little one responds? They may need some time to learn to trust and receive your support. Can you offer them the evidence they need that you can be present and committed to loving them? This takes practice and intention. You owe it to yourself.

If you find reading this activating or challenging, I recommend finding someone, like a therapist, to support in exploring how this time of life may have been for you and how it may be continuing to affect you. You may want to consider participating in one of my small womb surround process workshops. If you are a practitioner wanting to enhance your skill at recognising and meeting this early material with your clients, please consider my upcoming training for practitioners, Our Journey Here.